What kind of priest should i be

For those called to Religious Life, some are also called to serve that community and oftentimes other communities as a priest. Those men are, in addition to being called to be Brothers, are called to be Ordained Priests through Ordination. The overall mission of the Religious Order priest is to live consecrated life well, in a particular community, following the particular charism or holy activity of the particular religious order. Those called to Religious Life are usually attracted to it through members of a particular congregation or through the inspiration of the founder of the particular Order.

For example, one might feel a real attraction to the life of St. Parish Vocation Resources Events. What Is A Priest? Diocesan or Religious? Meet Our Seminarians Our Seminaries.

And it is precisely this private aspect that makes a priest vulnerable to lapsing into a relationship. Frankly, it does not take much for a youngish man who has little actual support, perhaps no sexual experience, and a lot of high-stress work to respond favorably to the attentions of an interested love object. Confusion about sexual matters only makes him more vulnerable. It is easy to feel outrage at a priest who crosses professional or personal boundaries; the prospect of priests who abuse children is nauseating.

Without excusing any of this behavior, it is not hard to comprehend why men are vulnerable and why they would seek out what is probably the most potent form of comfort known to humans: intimacy, in whatever twisted form that might take. It is possible to be "intimate" in a conversation: two people sharing the details of their personal lives qualifies.

But when basic needs for support, warmth, and connection are unfulfilled, the impulse toward physicality increases. Everyone feels a need to be touched and to touch. Usually, such contact begins with an innocent hug, which then lingers, which then involves a kiss There are important differences between those who seek out physical contact freely and openly and those who perforce do it on the sly. A major one is the guilt and shame about violating values. Also most priests tend to think in terms of sin, which works against their thinking deeply about what their behavior means and understanding it more realistically.

Priests often confess lapses over and over again, with little effect on behavior. How many men have confessed lapses over and over again, only to find themselves trapped in behavior they barely understand? The other issue here is violation of integrity. By "integrity" I mean simply being the person you claim to be. Once a priest presents himself as a chaste, committed celibate but is actually sexually active, he has destroyed one of the pillars supporting his mental health.

The significance of this can hardly be underestimated. While it is fashionable these days in mental health circles to conceive of anxiety as a free-floating condition, it is often related to such profound violations of personal integrity. Take the case of Friar F. Professionally, he was capable; privately, he was torn asunder. He left treatment drug-free and considerably less anxious. Piecing his life back together was not an easy process. Through regular sessions, he developed more realistic ways to manage his anxiety.

He gradually withdrew from a slew of medications, began to see his history in a more realistic light, and recommitted himself to a sexually abstinent lifestyle, armed with the practical skills to do so. Therapy enables the freedom to make such a choice; it is not so concerned about the choice made. For some men, when the heady romance begins to fade they may abandon a relationship; just as often, however, they try to keep juggling. This is sad in any relationship, but it can be tragic for a priest, whose life, values, and meaning have been swept away in a torrent of passion that he had perhaps unknowingly forsworn and the dynamics of which he barely understands.

Does this suggest that priests are as a group naive with respect to emotional needs and entanglements? Yes, it does. Certainly for that group unable to inhibit their behavior and face the difficult choice of whether celibacy is actually possible for them. Priests who cross the line tend to be notably self-absorbed — consumed with their own conflicted feelings — such that they overlook the sensitivities of the person with whom they are involved.

The thought that a woman or another man, for that matter might want something from them feels alien. Group therapy is especially helpful in situations such as these. The often shocked and sometimes angry reactions of peers is often more potent than that of a single therapist pointing out obvious insensitivities.

A door is then opened to enlarging perspective, reducing self-absorption, and taking into account that all behavior has consequences. This is the purpose of treatment. The situations I've been describing exclude, of course, those few men among clerics who are just narcissistic or sociopathic enough to take what they want, the rules be damned. Whether driven by compulsion, rage, or unremitting entitlement, such persons, who exist in any profession, cross boundaries not out of personal need or lack of support but because they are driven to such behavior by poorly understood psychological motives.

Fortunately, such priests are rare. The most common trap door to crossing the line sexually has to do with personal vulnerability. What can we make of this situation? Would abandoning celibacy for diocesan priests help? The answer to the second question is: Of course it would. Would it solve the problem of wayward priests? Of course it wouldn't. Human weakness cannot simply be eradicated, although measures can be taken to reduce it significantly.

Generally priests already have access to mental health resources, such as psychotherapy; they also have less formal priest support groups to which they can turn for help. However, they tend to take advantage of resources under duress. We know that education about matters of sexuality and intimacy and how it actually operates would be helpful.

Empowering the laity to collaborate as equal partners in parish management is also an encouraging trend. A more challenging development would be to expand priests' knowledge of human sexuality and intimacy as well as increase their regard for those critical parts of the human experience.

This would require more candid and less judgmental communication about these aspects of life and would reflect a move away from the idealized role of the priest as a person without need. During this whole time you have been discerning what potentially is a call to the priesthood and you are certain without a doubt in your heart that this is what God is calling you to do with your life. That is great! Now…what type priest do you want to be?

Do you want to be a parish priest? A missionary? A cloistered monk? The options and choices available to you are numerous. Priests are divided into 2 categories: secular diocesan priests and religious priests. Secular, or diocesan, priests are incardinated into specific geographical locations known as dioceses, to serve mostly in parishes, possibly as teaching priests or serve in administrative capacities.

They take their direction and orders from the ordinary bishop of the diocese in which they serve. Religious priests are priests who are members of a religious community, who all work together to serve a particular mission that their community fosters. Religious communities are divided into 2 categories: societies of apostolic life and communities of consecrated life.

It has always been traditionally known that priests make vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. This is not true for all priests. It is standard when a priest is ordained, that he makes vows to live a life of celibate chastity and to be obedient to his religious superiors and the bishops under which they serve.

Diocesan priests, however, do not make vows of poverty and are therefore allowed to maintain personal property and collect a salary if they so choose. They are allowed to own personal possessions and maintain any financial holdings in their name prior to joining community and after joining, but any salary they earn while as a member of the community goes not to them but to the community.